You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
