whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
