He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
