Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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