yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All the doctor said was why
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
