found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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