Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
