I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
