I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
