I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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