I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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