I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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