obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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