She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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