i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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