so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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