I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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