the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
