TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
