I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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