he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
