Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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