come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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