I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
