we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
