I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
