She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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