Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
