i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
