yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
