We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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