don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
