i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
