I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
