sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
