How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
