Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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