dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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