Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
