i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
