just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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