escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i love accidental penises.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
