Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
