the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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