Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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