Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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