I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
