You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
