I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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