she was so not down for the gang bang
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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